Perfect Grilled Pizza

Oh boy, oh boy, you guys.. do I have a special treat for you! The man, the myth, the monogram, O is with us today to explain the process behind his perfect grilled pizza. You’ve heard me brag and complain about him for years now, and he’s finally making an appearance on the ol’ blog! But he basically laughed hysterically when I asked him to actually write a post for us, so we’re doing this in interview form. You’ve been warned.

This is on the record. Uh, tell us a little bit about yourself. I wrote down actual questions.

I’m not doing this.

You have to; you promised. Don’t look at me if you don’t want to. Just tell us a little bit about yourself. What are your likes and dislikes?

Doing this right now.

OK, what are your likes?

Watching Bates Motel, which I was just doing.

Honey. 

Restart this.

I did. I’m not going to publish this! (?), just tell us a little bit about yourself.

[In sorority girl Valley voice] Hey, my name’s O, I live in Memphis, I work as an attorney, and that’s it.

[Laughing hysterically] Why are you talking like that?! Omigod. OK, what’s the best pizza you’ve ever had?

Well, it’s really hard to explain. I think I like making my own pizza, so I would say the best I’ve ever had is what I’ve made in my own house. Pure mozzarella with vodka sauce.

Yeah, that’s right. [Note: interview made said vodka sauce.] You think it’s better than that pizza in Italy? What’s the best pizza you have ever tasted, where you were like ‘Goddamn that’s the best pizza ever’?

OK, maybe some pizza in Florence.

What about the kind in Mexico? That’s my favorite.

No.

Um, OK. So how do you make this pizza? Be really specific.

The key is organization. You need to get all your toppings right next to your grill. You need to heat the grill, lay out your dough, brush olive oil on the top side, and once you put olive oil on the top side, and make sure your grill is at 400-500º,

400 or 500?

Anywhere in between there will be fine.

So 450.

Yeah, maybe. Something like that. Once your grill is warmed up, you get all the toppings next to the grill, then you’re going to lay the side with the olive oil onto the grill. Once you lay that down, you’re gonna wait 2-3 minutes. During that time, you’re gonna put olive oil on the other side of the pizza (which is now the top side). Then you’re gonna get your tongs–

Wait, is there some sort of like, visual cue for when to flip it?

When the dough starts to rise–

RISE?! 

Yeah..

It gets puffy?! Oh, it gets little bubbles.

Yeah.. Anyway, that’s when you flip it and put the toppings on.

So you flip it and put the toppings on? Do you put the cheese on at the same time?

You put the cheese on right when you flip it first, and then the toppings. And then you wait 2-4 minutes. You can close or open the grill–

Pick one!

I would say open; that way you can watch it.

Oh, OK.

Then you wanna take it out, depending on how crispy you like your pizza.

Just slide it off onto a plate?

Yeah, just make sure the cheese is melted and there’s grill marks. OK?

OK, yeah, wait, I’m not done. Is there like a trick to this pizza? No, don’t look at your phone!

The trick is organization.

OK, who is the best cook that you know?

Uh……. that’s a tough decision. My wife is pretty good, but I’d have to say Gordon Ramsay.

[Laughing hysterically] You KNOW Gordon Ramsay? PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN. OK, try again, who’s the best cook that you know?

Cheryl Malik.

Do you love her?

Yes.

Do you think she deserves a new Lillébaby?

No.

WHY NOT?!

Because she has fifteen already.

Put your phone down!

No.

Interview over.

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I really don’t think there’s much to say that hasn’t already been said here.. except you’re going to seriously love this pizza, you guys. The crust develops the perfectly crunch shell, yet is chewy and tender on the inside. And you can make your husband do it then interview him about it! He will be in so much pain during said interview, and it will be glorious to watch.

Make sure you use my perfect food processor pizza dough, and this entire meal is just a snap.