I presume this will sound very un-chic of me, but I’m beyond over platform heels. Hidden platform, colorblock platform, spiked platform, it doesn’t matter. I have this to say to you, fashion gods:
Stop. The. Madness. Take me out back behing the cabin and put me out of my misery already. I’m your dog, dammit, you should do it!
No matter how elegant I pull a set together, if I’m wearing platform heels, I’m convinced I look like:
In a few years, we’ll look back at our archives on Facebook (I wouldn’t dare say, ‘Flip back through the photo album’.. that’s absurd!) and as, “What? What were we thinking? Why did you let me go out like that? I look like I’m going to pole class!” I promise you.
No, I’m not stark raving mad; a little bit of platform is not so bad. What is it I’m begging to depart? Platforms that take away the elegance and versatile style inherent in a classic pair of pumps: